Bookkeeper, Office Manager
The exact details of how Audi joined the team are lost to the mists of time, but legend has it that all we had to do was sit down and talk with her for about twenty minutes before we made her an offer.
And you would have, too.
But—and please understand that I have no actual proof of this—I have a suspicion that Audi might just be part of a race of benevolent cyborgs. Because on any given day, she makes sure the bills are paid, the invoices up to date, and the credit cards reconciled. She makes sure that everyone from Washington to Poland gets paid and that the taxes aren’t doing things that taxes oughtn’t, all the while keeping a weather eye on profit and loss.
She does all the spreadsheets.
It’s enough to break a lesser human.
(And here’s where the cyborg part comes in)
Audi does it all with a smile. Her infinite patience when dealing with a preposterous glut of information doesn’t impact her sunny demeanor one bit. Swing by her office sometime and she’ll greet you with a tidal wave of affability. She’ll listen to you talk. She’ll understand where you’re at. She’ll ask you how you’re doing (presumably to bring the information back to her robot overlords, but we won’t hold that against her).
Oh, is that not enough? Well then: Audi also speaks Indonesian, likes to garden, can foods, quilt, play guitar, and can clear a hostile structure with a Glock in record time.
See? Gotta be at least half robot.
But you know what, Audi? Beep boop. That means “We love you” in computer.